My first born is turning 5 tomorrow!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I'm such a lagger in keeping my blog up to date. I'm sorry about that. I will get better. I have lots of drafts ready to post LOL. The balance of my kids, jewelry, and house have consumed all my time. Hopefully soon I will be able to balance in my blog too! Until then, I thought I would share the letter I wrote for my little man turning FIVE tomorrow! I like to write a letter to each of my kids on their birthdays. These are put away and hopfully one day they will enjoy reading them. These letters also help me with them getting older and taking a few to reflect on all the changes in just a years time.

My sweet first born,

How could five, FIVE years have passed since I first looked into that beautiful little face?  To me it seems only moments ago.  I can still hear your tiny cry, feel the warmth of your small frame and taste my sweet tears of joy mingled with overwhelming love. I remember sitting on the couch with you in the middle of the night, just a few days old, and looking into your eyes asking that you please not grow too up too fast.

Is it possible to love someone too much?  If so, I’m afraid I’m guilty.

I have watched you grow into this MOST amazing little boy. You have become so much more than I ever hoped you would be. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a child with a greater heart and love for everyone. The way you say “Hi” to just about everyone everywhere is just so sweet. You are compassionate, kind and you love your family as you seem to love all the world, with the most genuine love imaginable; a love with absolutely no conditions.

You are as silly as you are loving. You are often the first to lose your breath laughing at something.

You are smart, with a love for books and trying new things.  I hope that you never stop seeking knowledge.  I hope that you always find comfort in the quiet of a good book.

You started Preschool this year. You loved it from the very first day and had friends by the time I picked you up from that first day. You go to school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:30-11:30 and just love it.

I hope you always find joy in your favorite things.  At the moment they are, mac & cheese, hot dogs, yogurt, any fruit, jello, and ANYTHING sweet, the color blue, building with legos, playing with your cars and trucks, and playing with your sister!

As you turn five, I want to leave you with five things that I never, EVER want you to forget.

NEVER EXCHANGE YOURSELF FOR WHAT THE WORLD SAYS YOU SHOULD BE.  Never for one second think that you have to be anything else but yourself. Love music and want to start a garage band?  Go for it. Have the urge to write a novel? Make it a great one. Want to wear old, ripped up jeans?  As long as I can’t see your underwear, fine with me.  Whoever you are, whatever you want to be, as long as it’s a decent human being and won’t bring harm to you or anyone else, you have my undying support.

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOU!  The whole world may tell you can’t, but I know that if you put your heart and soul into achieving your goals, you will. It fills me with pride to see the confidence you have in yourself now. You think you can do anything.  And so do I.  Never doubt your abilities.  They are God given and yours alone.  Always believe in you.

YOU WILL SCREW UP. Big time. Most likely over and over again. And it’s okay. Mistakes are a part of life, of living, of learning. It’s who WE are as humans. Pick yourself up no matter how hard or impossible it seems at the time, and move on. Don’t dwell in the past. Don’t fret. We’ve all been there. Every sunrise is a new beginning. But just in case you forget that and you feel like you can’t claw your way out of the hole you’ve dug this time, remember you always have a place to turn. Home. I’ll be here to help you pick up the pieces of life and put them back together again.

IT’S ALMOST NEVER ABOUT YOU. As beautiful as it is, the world can be a bitter, mean place.  People will sometimes act in a way that will leave you hurt, broken, insecure. Know that it’s most likely something inside of them, not you, that causes them to lash out. You are good. You are kind.  You are loved. I have struggled with this many times myself.  But I will try to never tell you that you are being overly sensitive.  Your sensitivity is one of the things that makes you most beautiful. It’s rare. Just promise me that you’ll try to take the negativity of others with a grain of salt. Don’t let it weigh down your joy. And when you see an opportunity to reach out with a little kindness, do it. Even if that person has shown none to you.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU COULD EVER DO, EVER SAY, EVER THINK, EVER BE THAT COULD MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU. You are my child. You know the sound of my beating heart. I will never forget what those first tiny kicks felt like. The first ultrasound picture I saw of you. I have loved you from the moment I knew you were to be mine. You and your sister are my most cherished gifts in this life. The love I have for you is not a love that ever has to be earned. It just is. It will always be.

Happy, happy birthday, my baby boy!  Here’s to five more beautiful years with you and hoping that the minutes are kind enough to slow down from time to time.

I love you big as the whole world, and the sun, the moon and the stars. To the moon and back.  Til’ the end of time.

Love Always,

Mama

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